The Aftermath

I waited a hour before I call the hospital. I knew he was dead so I was in no rush to hear those words officially. I called, the nurse asked who I was Her tone changed and told me to hold for the doctor. He got on the phone an said the words I knew I would hear. I am sorry Your husband is dead. We could not save him.
I said thank you and what do I need to do now. He told me the social worker would call me when the office opened. I hung up the phone. I called my mom, she told me she was on her way. I was happy I didn't have to ask her to come. Sh lived in Los Angeles. I knew it would be a few days but at least she was coming.
I was a widow. That all I could say. She told me to not think of that and get some sleep. SLEEP!!!!!! No way. I had things to do and people to call. I had to call his parents, his daughter, his siblings. I called his brother first. I waited until it was a decent hour. I remember the call very wee. Junior, Ken died last night. HE said How was he drunk. My husband used to be an alcholic, No I said HE had not been drinking. He got sick and died. I do know know what happened yet. They are doing an autopsy. I later found out he had a massive heart attack. He said I have to call you later. That was the end of my conversation with him. He called me again the next day. HE told me he was sorry but the shock was too much for him. I told him I understood. However, I didn't. I really didn't. He had not seen Ken the whole time he was in America. This man was rich. He went all over the world. Ken had done so much for him and he never said thank you. He never called him. Ken was always the one to call. So I didn't understand how he was hurt, feeling guilty maybe, but hurt no.
I called His dad. This was not his real father but he raised Ken. I Loved this man and I knew this was going to hurt him. I made the dreaded call. Marsetti I said Hey my lady...... I am sorry I have to tell you this but Ken died last night. The phone went dead. I thought hte man had died himself. I was so scared. I stayed on the phone at least ten mins. Nothing.I had to hang up. this was an international call. I felt bad but how could i stay on the phone with silence when it was costing over $1 a min. and I still had to make more calls.
Now the daughter, Keisha was 19. I knew she was going to take it hard and she did. she cried and cried. Her mother got ont he phone and asked was he drinking. I was so angry. They all knew he had stopped drinking and there are a million ways to die, why think of such a bad thing.
No he was not. He was vomiting all night and then he collapsed. Those words were going to be my downfall. I didn't know it then but i would learn this in a few days. She told me to call her if I needed anything. She said she would help me with the arrangements and Asked if I was going to send him to Jamaica
I told her I had not thought of that yet I Would talk to his mother and see.
Then I called the step mother. Another sad call. she called Marsetti, she was his ex wife. She told me he was OK , in shock but OK. I was happy to hear that.
She said the same thing everyone else did. I heard the samething over and over again for the next week.
My mother told me how brave I was. She said you comforted all those people answered all their questions and never broke down. She asked if I had cried yet. I said a little but I am too busy. I have the kids and a funeral, and I am nursing and I am dealing with too much. I still have to find a way to pay for all of this. I dint have time to cry.
I went on and made more calls. I called all his friends in his phone book and I called all the family I could. I was done. I could not tell another person my husband was dead without dying myself. I was done.

The family wanted him to go back to Jamaica. I did too. He loved it there and I didn't want him to be where he didn't want to be. So I let his mother make all the arrangements there. I did what i needed to do In America.
The next day I went to the store to buy his clothes for the funeral. I looked an looked but everything i looked at made me cry. The sales person came over to ask if she could help. I told her I had to buy clothes for my husband. It was his funeral. She looked at me and said You are so young. Death does not have an age i said. I told her I wanted something nice but not fancy. Very neat and not flashy. I instantly became the talk of the store. Everyone had to walk by me or point at me. was I the first person to have their husband die. I knew i wasn't but I felt like it. She picked out the perfect outfit. Black and green. It was so nice. I knew Ken would have liked it. I took it to the funeral home and Gave it to the man. Then I had to pick a coffin. I had to pick a certain type because he was going to travel overseas. Each country has rules as to how dead people can enter or leave their country. So this narrowed down my options a bit. I picked the cheapest one I could. It sounds bad bit honestly all it is going to do it rot away. All the flash is for the people who are alive. I for one didn't care how fancy the box looked. I wanted it to be safe, good quality to make the trip and I wanted it to be empty and not have MY husband in it. But that was not going to happen. I did my job. He has clothes and a casket. Now I had to wait two days for my viewing.